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immediate reaction

i’m supposed to be getting ready for work.  and yet, here i am.  😉  i am going to put down my immediate reaction to something, and i don’t usually do this.  mostly because when i have done this ‘trigger-reaction’ responding, i’m usually wrong.  i fail to look something up, and comment harshly on the thing, and lo and behold i was completely off base, or didn’t have the whole picture. 

well hell, i’m human.  it’s what we do.

so my response today is to something i saw here on wordpress, a video clip.  i don’t know if the author/group is called this, or if it’s the title of the blog, ok?  but it said “only God forgives UK”

so i’m assuming this is a group. 

i hate this.  i used to be a Christian so i’m not bashing all Christians, and i sometimes understand where they are coming from.  but seriously?  (sorry Kiki, stold your word)  only God forgives?  seems to me that a lot of people have to forgive things; indiscretions, abuses, failures.  forgiving is something we have to do on a fairly regular basis.  every time someone does me a bad, i don’t go around with a bat and smack em a black eye! 

now ABSOLVING might be a better word.  because where i can forgive – or pass over – someone’s mean spirited behavior toward me, ABSOLVING them of “sin” or their wrong doing is not in my power.  not that i necessarily believe in sin.  but i can’t ABSOLVE anyone of anything.  i tried that once, and only ended up with a lot of honey and a can of miscellaneous motor parts.  very bad idea.

anyway, rename your group, stupid!  the Bible actually TELLS us to forgive, so if it wasn’t possible, why would your God tell you to do it in your magical manual?  and stop telling the world what to think and believe!

OK.  rant over.  put clothing on.  go to work.

whew.  being a bitch is exhausting.  i think i’ll take up gambling instead.

 

On The Seventh Day God Created Allergies

One day, God decided He was kind of bored.  Being Omnipotent and Omnipresent isn’t all that exciting if you’re the only One that knows about it.  So God decided to build Himself some playmates.

Now God – who is an all-or-nothing kind of Being – got to work right away.  He imagined a world of danger and beauty.  He imagined lovely landscapes and frightening thunder storms.  He wanted raucous noises and scary animals.  He felt like making gorgeous trees and whimsical flowers.  His imagination was active and fertile, once He figured out he was going to build His own play town.

And so He worked.  He worked all through the night, and then He decided to make day, so He could keep working but see what He was doing better.  And He kept going.  Oceans, chimpanzees, sea anemones, volcanoes, bats.  Animals on top of things, critters underneath, and everywhere around: wind, air, song and scent.

God is sometimes a bit intense, and also a workaholic.  He didn’t have to make so many of the things in the ocean beautiful; most that stuff never gets seen, or played with.  But he likes stripes and polka dots and glow in the dark motifs, so everything has the chance to be strikingly gorgeous.  Except for hyenas.  Poor things.  They must have really pissed Him off somehow.  And God being the workaholic type, He isn’t prone to taking coffee breaks.  He’d made the beans by this point, but not the Mr. Coffee drip pots.  But He wanted a chance to view His handiwork and pat Himself on the back, and He really needed a break.  So in order to make Himself feel better – less guilty for just hanging around when He could be working on the next batch of Alien Life Forms – He created allergies.  Everyone knows that when allergies hit, you’re not worth anything.  All you can do is sleep, whine, sniff, and flip the remote control button a thousand times per minute.  Now, God didn’t have a remote, but He did have the allergies; so He just sat and sat on the seventh day, reclined back in His cloud-stuffed LAY-Z-BOY, surveyed His creation, and had a good nap.

And that’s why you get nothing done during ragweed season.

Gesundheit