today has been …. interesting. right now the wind outside is fierce and howly, the sky dark and foreboding, and the trees are shaking so much they look like villains in a horror movie. but it’s been a lovely, melancholy rainy kind of day.
it didn’t really start out that way at first. i had a trigger this morning.
usually a trigger that makes me switch personalities, or go into a post traumatic type of mindset is fairly upsetting; a violent scene in a movie, or a killer with an axe is a sure bet; loud, thumpy music that invades my home via the neighbor’s car; smells i can’t avoid. all these things can trigger me and send me into a panic, or switch me right out of my current personality and into something/someone i’m not prepared for.
today, however, it was a cartoon! just lounging around the house today as my sister got ready for work, and she had on old cartoons. i love the Flintstones, so i was surprised when i became anxious while watching an episode, and so distressed i had to turn the channel. then i was just flipping out for a while. something about this particular episode triggered me – one of me anyway – and it took some fresh air, a little rain, and Jimmy John’s to make things right in my world again.
damn dangerous cartoons!