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super speed (also a Minor Rebellion)

My sister and I love movies and TV. Say what you will about the power of television and its ability to turns brains to mush; we find this form of entertainment magical. Watching a TV show like LOST, Fringe or Survivor often leads us into lengthy, interesting discussions. We get mad and yell at competitors, comment on how cute Jeff Probst is, then sit and analyze the sociological behaviors of the players and wonder how we would fare in the game of Survivor. Would we turn catty and evil, and backstab those we built alliances with? Would we try to fly under the radar, or be so obnoxious that we got booted off the island first? Would we be able to braid our underarm hair by the time we got home?

Movies are good for our brains as well. It doesn’t seem to matter what the genre is or what era the movie is from, we continually discover new information about ourselves and our world, and often find nuggets of spiritual challenge, growth or revelation. Not to mention the fun of movies. The fantasy. The magic.

One day our friend offered to lend us a movie they’d rented. Cool. Who doesn’t love freebies. We just had to be sure to get it back in time, and drop it off at the right rental store. No problem. The movie runs, we are engrossed, time flies. Maybe we forgot what time the place closed. Maybe we started the show too late. Maybe the movie was so amazingly eye-opening that we had a four hour discussion about life, and vowed to advance our spirituality and karmic levels immediately. I don’t recall, but suddenly it was very obvious that we had to get this movie back to its rightful home, and do it NOW.

Pressure situations aren’t always a great time for us. We get tense, snappy, defensive and worried. We don’t always like to be rushed, or pushed, or nudged. We don’t like to be hurried. Hurrying makes us forget things, like bottled water that I will need two minutes after starting the car out of the driveway. Or glossy lip balm, because my lips might feel chapped, or I might find a cute stranger that looks like he has something on his face that needs to be cleaned. With my tongue. So supple lips are important. I hate being rushed. I never want to be ill prepared for a potential spontaneous make-out session. But this day was different. This day our magical television training paid off.

As we headed down the road and started to break the speed limit, I said we should pretend we were driving Wonder Woman’s invisible airplane. No one could see her plane, right? It’s invisible. She can go as fast as she wants, and all anyone will really know is that a woman in a star spangled bathing suit and red go-go boots is flying through space somehow. Whose going to arrest a half-naked woman in sexy foot wear? So we pictured our car as the invisible plane, and we sped like demons through the streets. Zoom past this guy, Pow past that one. We flew down the roads in record time, and our super hero driving got us to the drop box just before the villainous Late Fine was able to make his presence a reality. Being invisible has its advantages. Hmmm, plus I could kiss a lot of strangers that way.

I’d better go purchase some more lip gloss.


who will be voted off next?

well heck, i wrote this heated blog about Survivor a while back.  after Boston Rob got voted off.  i tried to post it on the Survivor site, but it never went up for some reason.

So despite the fact that this rant is several episodes old, I still want it somewhere.  so here you go…

In an unprecedented move, Survivor puts out one of the most biased and personally attacking episode recaps ever aired in its twenty seasons. After the surprising removal of an old fan favorite, Boston Rob, Jeff Probst reads off a lengthy tirade aimed at pinning all of team Villains woes on Russell, who spearheaded the plot to vanquish Rob. Potentially alienating loyal viewers, Probst offers up a slanted and horribly skewed version of events that can in no way be validated by the previous episodes shown to viewers. Citing Boston Rob as the diligent, hard working and loyal Villain leader, Probst sets Russell up to be not only Rob’s arch nemesis, but the underhanded and deceitful kingpin of the crew that finally blind sides Rob.

Probst’s recounting of facts doesn’t ring true, however, at least for this loyal viewer and her family. After watching every season of Survivor, and finding this season to be the standout in competition, intrigue, and interesting characters, I have to say that I’m disgusted at the blatant siding of one contestant over another in the opening credit air time.

First of all, I want to say that I have been a fan of Boston Rob since he first came on Survivor, and I loved him on this season. He is an amazing powerhouse of a person, and is a force to be reckoned with, whether in the game or in life. I admire and respect him, though I have to remind viewers and J.Probst that he IS on the Villains team, and there is a reason for that. While it’s true that he almost single-handedly led the team to each of their victories, created fire for them, built their shelter and basically kept them alive, assuming he is loyal, trustworthy and valiant in this game is to disregard his game playing techniques in the past. This IS the man that gave his word to a FRIEND and then flipped on him later, just so he could get what he wanted, and further himself in the game.

I also love Russell. While I admit I wasn’t his biggest fan in the beginning of the last season, Russell’s drive, ambition, tenacity and brilliance quickly grew on me, and I found myself enamored of his antics and shrewd thinking. No one has EVER played the game like Russell, finding immunity idols without clues, crafting three way votes that upend tribal councils, and winning the hearts of millions of viewers. And while it’s true that many viewers hate Russell (a view that is obviously held by whoever wrote the opener of last week’s Survivor), Russell has also garnered untold numbers of fans, and if memory serves me, won the Fan Favorite award for last season.

What bothers me about the opener is this:

1. Jeff says that Russell makes his move out of jealousy. Really Jeff? How do you know that? In the episodes we see as viewers Russell doesn’t seem jealous of anything. Maybe he is paranoid, maybe he is vying for dominance, maybe he is trying to best Boston Rob to prove that he is the best. I don’t recall Russell ever saying he wants to have to be the leader of this crew of people; he comments that he is happy to be playing with the best.

2. Jeff makes it sound like the Villains go on a losing streak because of the demise of Rob. However, by the time Boston Rob goes home, the Villains have OBVIOUSLY already lost (or else they wouldn’t be at tribal council!)

3. Has Jeff forgotten that Russell led a team of FOUR to the end of last season’s Survivor when he was battling an opposing team of EIGHT?? It shouldn’t really matter if the Villains lose a few challenges; they are still up in numbers, and with Russell, anything is possible. I don’t see how Probst can possibly try to pin the losses of the Villains on Russell.

4. Jeff and the production team CLEARLY make Boston Rob out to be the good guy, by replaying Rob’s announcement that his idea of loyalty is very different than Russell’s.

Russell, however, made a good point that he offered himself up to save Parvati, and he was sticking to his own alliance loyally. While Rob may not like Russell’s decisions and alliances, you have to give credit to Russell for being true to his word.

5. And give Russell credit for going BOLD FACED to Rob and telling him his plan. He approached Rob openly to talk through their differences, to which Rob replied, “Watch your back”. Russell seemed to me to be trying to work together.

6. Which he also showed when on the beach with Rob, Courtney and Sandra. He suggested that he and Rob join forces and make the Villains as strong as they could be, by voting off the weakest players and keeping the tribe physically competitive. Again, Rob treated him with disrespect and disdain and then plotted to vote Russell off the island.

7. Having intuitively determined that he was the next target on the list, Russell masterminds the most convoluted elimination I have ever seen on Survivor, and apparently upsets the producers, Jeff, and the writers of the show, who then immediately make Russell out to be the super Villain, instead of applauding him for one of the most interesting and unforgettable episodes of Survivor ever.

I don’t know what the problem is here. In all of these seasons of Survivor, I would think it would be well known by now that this is a GAME, and people all take different strategies to move further in the game. If you want to complain about underhanded workings, try looking to the Heroes, whose members like J.T. have become increasingly sneaky and crafty; James, whose hostility toward another member, Stephanie, was downright offensive; and Colby, whose competitive anger even caused Probst to call him out in a challenge.

Why is Survivor against Russell? He is playing the game like many who have gone before him. He is using wits and words, and sometimes trickery. Not unlike many of the other players in every season. While “Survivor; the entity” is backing Boston Rob and slamming Russell, it is unclear to me what the purpose behind this is. Rob is not more loyal or trustworthy just because he got voted out and Russell didn’t. Or because Russell out-witted him (that IS one of the tenets of the game, after all).

Russell has never presented himself as the Boy Scout. He has openly and honestly played a dishonest game. He wants to win, he wants to be the best, and he wants to do it his way. He’s made no bones about this. This, in fact, IS honesty. He is what he tells you he is; a player. If the Villains team can’t survive without Boston Rob, then each of the players deserves to go home. This isn’t the Final Four, where the whole team must lead each other to victory. There can only be ONE Survivor. If you want to make Boston Rob the honorary god of Survivor, go ahead. I love and admire him completely. But while you’re building a monument to his glory, don’t drag Russell through the mud just because he’s the one that got Rob voted out. He’s playing his game, and that’s why so many of us love him.

I have always admired the way Jeff navigates the tribal councils and calls people out for what is going on in camp. I imagine this wasn’t even Jeff’s comments, but a writer’s. Still, to side so strongly with one contestant against another is bothersome. Had this opening been more factual and less emotional or slander oriented, I wouldn’t even be writing this. I’ve never written in to Survivor before, and probably won’t again. I just hope that the show doesn’t continue to bash worthy, brilliant, and fearsome competitors in the future, regardless of how they decide to play the game.




Surviving Survivor

So I just wrote up a post to Survivor, the CBS phenom reality show everyone should be familiar with or you’re living under a rock.


I’ve never written in before, on the website or bloggy bloggers or any of that. Because what does it matter what I think? 

Still, after watching last week’s episode of the show (shut up, we have to DVR things so we’re a little behind) I was incensed. Oh sure, I care who wins. I always end up picking my favorites, and then I scream at the television during the challenges, cheering my person on, as if that will help, because this WAS filmed probably five months ago. I yell my people’s names, and swear ugly, horrible, sailor swear words at the people that I don’t like. (you know who you are! I’m sure you can hear me through the television!) I freak out when my people lose, and jump up and pump my fists when they win. 

Do I really think any of this makes a difference? Well no, I just said, this was filmed ages ago. But in a LIVE competition, I have some wicked mad cheering skills (seriously, don’t bet against my team, you’re terribly likely to lose) so I guess I cheer out of habit. 

Anyway, the thing that bothered me about the show wasn’t who was sent home (Boston Rob – sorry man, I love you) or who did the masterminding of the send off (Russell – I love you too, you brilliant little troll) but the first two minutes of the episode. 

In the “previously, on Survivor” part of the show, Jeff Probst reads off a laundry list of naughties perpetrated by Russell in the undoing of Boston Rob. So what? I’m sorry, did you think I was watching “Who Wants to be the next Dinosaur Barney”? No. This is Survivor. I expect to see some scheming and cheating, lying and back stabbing. The things is, some of what Jeff accused Russell of doing, well I just don’t remember seeing him do. And when he makes the comparison between the two contestants, he builds one up to be the hero, and makes the other out to be the Antichrist. Really they both are playing on the Villains team, so what does that tell you? 

What I DON’T expect to see on Survivor is slanted and biased writing from the producers or editors, or blatant contestant favoritism from the host, Jeff Probst. Now is Jeff REALLY favoring Boston Rob over Russell? I don’t know. And I don’t care. 

I don’t care what the opinions are behind the issues, so much as I care about the issue itself. If you want to go around bad mouthing people, and accusing people of doing things they didn’t really do; If you want to go around saying that shady players and untrustworthy people should be the leaders of the world and have holidays named after them; If you want to skew the opinions of others and lead them down biased informational highways, molding them to your point of view and erasing their ability to think for themselves, well then do what the rest of us are doing…. 

Get your own [F-word + ing] BLOG.