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sideshow poo

I know it can’t be that fun to walk around with little plastic bags on your hands waiting for the right moment so you can bend down and pick up a hot, steaming pile of poo. That’s exactly why I’ve trained my animals to use the toilet. Including the llama and the spider monkey. Spider monkey goes a little crazy with the toilet paper, but at least he always remembers to flush. It’s harder for the iguana, because that handle is the same size as his body.

If you’re going to take your dog out on a walk, regardless of how gross their poo is, it would be a courtesy to neighbors and pedestrians alike if you pick up the poo. Today on my walk – (actually being able to walk outdoors in Michigan in February with just a sweatshirt on is like finding a winning lotto ticket inside a carton of milk…pretty uncommon) – I kept coming across these ginormous piles of poo. At one point I seriously wondered if this person had been out walking their horse. And either this animal had a REALLY big breakfast this morning, or this person forgets their doggy doody bags A LOT.

Word of friendly advice: if you aren’t going to pick up your dog’s poo, please get a gerbil. Or a Chihuahua, ‘cause their poos are less brazenly offensive.