i haven’t gotten much done today. today i was supposed to work on editing a chapter or two of my book, and pretty much the only thing i’ve accomplished so far today is taking a shower. oh, and playing on facebook.
i’m part of a DID group on facebook, and it’s supportive, interesting, and also … weird.
today i was reading posts from people struggling with their condition, and some of them had altars (other personalities) writing, and talking in this weird child talk. spelling all wonky, words and phrases making no sense, and i’m thinking “Jesus, you people are crazy”. but as i read along in the thread, i had to sort of wake myself up. because this is me. they are talking about the things i go through and struggle with, and despite the fact that it does – in fact – sound completely crazy, it happens to also be reality. it sounds so bizarre that people have little four year olds in their bodies, which always reminds me of the commercial for weight loss when i was a kid: “inside every fat person there’s a skinny person dying to get out”. creepy.
but it’s real. i have a little one in there that will only growl at people, and someone who can’t stand up well and would rather just continually collapse to the floor, and certainly several that shouldn’t be operating machinery at work, let alone drive a car. and Christ, then there’s trying to go to sleep at night…
“good night John Boy” “good night Tiger” “good night Scritchy”
“good night Nellie” “good night Rocky” “Jesus, would you people go to bed already?”