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all of me

Denelle Hobbs

I’ve been thinking over some words of wisdom from a friend. Things like ‘don’t get upset’ or encouragements to not get tied up in my emotions. And while I appreciate the thoughts, and the hope that I will be well, I disagree with the overall ideas. I love my emotions. I’m not a very Zen person. I can’t wrap my mind around the idea that I must let go of my attachments to people, things, ideals that I love; or situations that anger me, or that I think should be altered toward a better outcome. Why do I need me to stop feeling in order to grow as a person? I don’t believe I do.
I won’t be beaten into submission by a God that is afraid of my emotional outbursts.
I won’t be tricked into complacency by a religious system that prefers numbness to the powerful and electric moments of raw feeling that occur in the NOW.
I can’t be forced to relinquish my passion, my drive, or my intense longings for love, beauty, or oneness with my fellow man.
And I don’t think I should have to give these things up.
I refuse to believe that spiritual enlightenment comes at the cost of my emotional self.
I fiercely believe that any God, Being or Universe that is worth being worshipped should be able to handle the divine, explosive, caustic, curious and intense soul that is me.