tonight i took a walk to my park; too late, for sure. probably not a good idea to do that all the time, but i really needed an extra fix. i’ve gotten addicted to my walks, and especially to the river. and tonight as i walked in the no-longer-hot air, i had much on my mind. i had a heavy heart, and a worried mind. i was longing for love, and worried about the path it was taking to arrive, at long last, in my life. but i am not in control of a good many things in life, and if i were there would be more sex, alcohol and football or futball involved.
my path through park number one was quiet, with fireflies lighting my way. they sparkled in the dusk like twinkle lights on a tree, and flashed their message to me: all is well; all is well. at park number two i was calmed even more. the water at the falls was full and frothy, like a good mug of hard cider in October. ducks were about, and calm and collected, discussing the day’s events, or possibly exchanging information about timeshares. i sat on the park bench and fell into a lull. overhead lights shone on the water, in silver, gold and purple. the shimmer of the lights reflected in the water looked like a firework display, with every ripple on the river giving off a spark of light. it was truly amazing, and a treasured moment.
i am not in charge of LOVE. i cannot guarantee its safe arrival to me. i have no promise of a tomorrow, with someone or without. i don’t know what the future holds. but i do know that i can love others. i can give love, whether or not it comes back to me. i can do my part, and give my love, and that much i CAN know. seeing the beauty of the water, and nature’s little buzzing flashlights reminded me: there is so much love out there in the world, even if it doesn’t come to me directly, i figure i can still catch a second hand buzz one way or another.