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i was going to do a different blog than this one; a zen-do-da blog (see link for more on zen-do-da if you don’t know what that is)

i was all set to be blissful and encouraging and uplifting.  i’ve read The Secret,TheSecretLogo you know, and other books like that.  i DO believe that we have the option and power to make our lives what we want.  sort of.  i mean, i believe that changing our thoughts for the better equals finding and receiving better things.  but this blog went south on me…sort of literally.

so i’m in the bathroom (hey we all poop, there’s a book about it)

Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi

Everyone Poops
by Taro Gomi

and i’m reading one of these happy books, telling me that i’m in control.  usually in these situations (moments of … reclining in the restroom) i’m working a Sudoku puzzle.  i know, i know, TMI.  whatever.  but i’m out of puzzles for this purpose, so i’m reading this feel good book and making notes with my little red pen.  and i’m all “la la la, life is good” when i drop my pen down the toilet.  for real??

and i’m wondering to myself: how does an artist or writer apply the ideas and beliefs of the Secret to his life?  and i’m hoping any of you followers out there will join in on this as a discussion.  because The Secret poses a dilemma for those of us in the art industry.

if i were a professional bowler, or a mail delivery agent, or a worker in any one of a million different fields, i could see how The Secret thinking could improve my life and my productivity.  but for those of us who are writers and artists, how do we make this work?

if you haven’t read The Secret, i highly recommend you do.  otherwise you will have no idea what i’m talking about here, and that’s no fun at all.  basically the premise is that what you think is what you get.  if you put out a bunch of negative thoughts and energy, that’s what you are bringing right back to you.  if, on the other hand, you are putting out love, and happiness, and good thoughts, you will be getting back same.

ok, you may or may not agree with all that.  that we will save for another blog.

this blog wants discussion.

if i’m a writer, i can’t just sit and write about a girl picking daisies all day.  boring. then she goes and walks along the beach, and finds a million dollars in a packet of 10’s and 20’s, non sequentially numbered and wrapped in a pink bow, so she doesn’t even have to claim taxes if she doesn’t want.  and along came mr. right, you get the picture.  i can’t do this.  as an artist, i CAN’T sit and look at the beautiful all day long, because that isn’t where all the heart tearing emotions lie.

the heart tearing emotions, the things that MOVE us are in the dark!  they are lying in a gutter, homeless and underfed.  they are sitting at the table with a morning cup of coffee, crying over their mashed up marriage or their dying soul.  they are tying themselves up in sheets at night from tossing and turning over their nightmares.  THIS is where the interest is for a writer, or painter, or a poet.  the angst.  the pain.  the agonizing loneliness of life.

because we all feel it at times, and tapping into that commonality is magical, and links us all together till we are one spool of thread.

so all you blogging authors and feely artists out there, how do we make The Secret work for us, without losing the inspiration that grief and sorrow provide?


addendum to the dunder dictionary

new updated “dunder word” additions:

Tumped :

apparently i used this word as a child.  if my dad pushed me over (which he would do, along with other less gentle forms of joking) i would say to him: “Dad!  you’re going to Tump me over!!”  

Tump: to knock over, push down, fall over by someone else’s doing; also includes falling over on one’s own, as in “If I walk around on these stilettos, I will surely Tump over”

Yummth Degree :

i have a major crush on Johnny Lee Miller.  or the way he portrays Sherlock in Elementary.  not sure which.

mmmm…delish.  so i said to my sister while watching him be his delightfully yummy self, “i love him to the yummth degree” .  pretty much covers it.  he’s ridiculously sexy.

Yummth Degree:  the infinite degree of yumminess allowable known to man

(for previous entries, see            or

long lost word

today i found a long lost word from my personal encyclopedia/dictionary.  this word was used back in 1984, in a letter to my uncle.  my life was dreary (no, ALL of my life, not just the day i was writing) but i saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

“my life is BETTERIZING” i told my uncle.  = improving; lessening in horribleness; approaching a level of almost-non-suicidal.

i think i’ll have to incorporate it into my current vocabulary, because it is so VASTLY more interesting than just plain “improving”.  what have i been thinking all these years?

i’m filing this under B in my lexicon of weird. (tmark pending)


denelleiopedia : new word

new word i just created (two seconds ago on a MPD support site)

DIDieness …

when describing the issues, feelings, and surrounding energies of having Dissociative Identity Disorder (also Multiple Personality Disorder)  .  pronounced like “giddiness”, the stranger “DIDieness” would be used like this:   “I didn’t know anything about my DIDieness until I was in my late twenties.  Well, officially anyway”.


skullduggery:  trickery; unfair, dishonest practices and goings on

i ADORE this word.  wish i’d made it up.  it has a dark, sinister, piratey feel to it, and its flavor makes using it a brilliant feat of genius.  not that i have occasion to use it often, but i see it from time to time in books.  it always makes me smile.  it makes me think of a pirate on a deserted beach, hiding the bones of some hapless victim, burying them deep in the sand.  because clearly the victim found out too much information about the treasure, or rum, or female companion, and he needed a good place to rest for a while anyway.  it gets so hot out there.

so this is one of my all-time favorite words.


tune in later this week for more complete nonsense and superfluous drivel

the dunder dictionary

I have a hang up with words. I don’t mean to be this way, but words mean more to me than maybe your average person. My sister likes to talk in conceptual ways, offering me the grand scheme of things, or an overall picture when we are in the middle of a discussion or argument. When recalling a movie, she will remind me of the director, the actors, and the plot.
“Is that the one where the guy is out running around in the streets, and it’s all dark and rainy, and the city looks like it’s somewhere in central Europe?” I ask.

Because I am not a plot person. I am a scene person.

I remember pictures and moments and specific emotions.

Words color the ideas, like crayons filling in a coloring book. Sometimes people like to use words that cover a lot of ground. Like ‘Tired” for instance. If someone says to me they are tired, I can relate. But what do you mean, really? Are you tired as in sleepy? Are you physically worn down from doing too much? Are you bored, and therefore tired of your situation? Are you depressed and tired of your job, which is maybe leaning more toward despondency? I mean, sure you can get out a big blue crayon, and color the person in the coloring book blue, for “waaaahhh”. Or you could use Cerulean Blue, and Indigo, and Cornflower.

I know this makes me a difficult person (along with all the other issues I have that make me difficult. wait, i’m trying to convince myself i am challenging, interesting and colorful rather than difficult. so COLORFUL is what we’ll go with today) I know this means I’m annoying to people at times, asking them to specify the meaning of their phrase so I can more clearly place their emotional outburst in the right filing drawer.

But words are important to me.

In fact, I create my own words because I often find my own language just slightly lacking in some expressions I need. Or maybe it isn’t the language, maybe I just don’t remember the words I’m looking for, so spontaneously make up something to act as pinch hitter for the missing word that won’t surface in my brain. In junior high I used “honkin’ ” a lot. Everything was honkin’ big. I used this expression especially when making fun of my drama teacher, Mr. Serafino. I actually adored the man, but he was an interesting character, and kids often picked on him for his strange, passionate, intense ways (Italian), his large nose and his need to wear disco pants. But he was my favorite teacher. Still, I had to chime in once in a while and pick on “Serafinose” for his “honkin’ big nose”. I swore I made that expression up. Obviously I didn’t make up the word, because people have been honking their horns for forever. But to describe a large object, I was sure it was a phrase I’d coined. Yet decades later I heard the expression in a movie.

“They stole my word!” was all I could think.

So this blog is for sharing my words.  I tend to tag these entries under “denelleiopedia” but my sister doesn’t approve of this word.  So “dunder dictionary” is what it’s becoming.   I’ll likely amend the list later, or create another when I’ve amassed more. But in case these words ever become a part of culture, I’m claiming them as my own, so you heard it here first. (or read it. whatever)


1. To question or consider something or the meaning of something

(i/e: what do you think is behind the gate in the Lion’s Gate symbol at the beginning of the movie?)

2. A question or hypothetical situation proposing an idea or seeking further information.

(i/e:  if you were trying to open that gate, would you use pliers, or a crowbar, or like one of those big hefting things they used to batter down doors in the old days?)

3. An annoyance.

(i/e: Denelle, can you just watch this movie and shut up?)


1. Something that creates or causes a sense of disgust.

2. Vomit inducing.

3. Utterly gross or disgusting.

(Her sweater is so vomitationous. I’m surprised he can even LOOK at her when she’s wearing that, let alone kiss her.)

(“Ewww, that chili cheese dog was too much.” “Dude, don’t get all vomitationous on me”)


1. To set a timer to record a television show. In most households this might commonly be called “programming”. Other adjectives include DVR, tape, record.

(“Hey will you timerize that show so we don’t forget to watch it?”)


1. A horrible commercial for a ridiculous product that is really a blanket with arms. (which we happen to own in Michigan State University theme)

2. A blanket for old people (and people who get funny gifts from their family).

3. Warm, safe and comfortable.

4. Yummy feeling.

5. Warmth inducing item.


1. An unpleasant texture.

2. Coarse, rough material.

(ewww, those socks are all scritchy)

3. Undesirable emotions.

4. Unstable and dangerous frame of mind or state of being. (“I’m feeling a little scritchy today”, she says as she drives the car into a tree)


1. A slovenly, bad postured person.

2. In disrepair.

3. Disheveled.

4. A person with a distinctive “ick-factor”.

5. Kafuffled. (I think L.M. Montgomery coined this word in Anne of Green Gables. I could be wrong)


(I imagine this is what she meant by the word)

1. At a loss. (I’m all kafuffled, I don’t know what to say)

2. Verklempt.

3. Taken off guard.

4. Emotionally ruffled.

ZEN*DO*DA: (zen-doo-dah)

1. A relaxed, gentle state of being.

2. Philosophies and belief systems that create a sense of Zen wisdom.

3. A phrase that reveals jealousy or disdain for those people who do not get “ruffled” by life’s antics.

4. Casual categorization of spiritual matters that seem too lofty or advanced for the speaker to reach, attain or achieve.


1. A remote control device that increases the volume of entertainment equipment and gadgets. Commonly referred to as “the clicker” by some, or “the remote” by others.

(Can you find the volumizer for me? I can’t hear the T.V.)


1. The most easiest thing.

(more to come sometime, stay tuned)


when describing the issues, feelings, and surrounding energies of having Dissociative Identity Disorder (also Multiple Personality Disorder)  .  pronounced like “giddiness”, the stranger “DIDieness” would be used like this:   “I didn’t know anything about my DIDieness until I was in my late twenties.  Well, officially anyway”.

DIDie, or perhaps DIDy:

one who has DID, i/e Multiple Personality Disorder


some things that fall into the Tick~Tockery category are as follows, but not limited to:  gadgets, gears, clockwork, ornamentation, James Bond type toys and Mission Impossible style undercover work, pretty fastenings, old machinery, and Steampunk stylings, keys, fobs, chains and such goodies.

for more on Tick~Tockery see


1. To be knocked over or knocked down.  To fall over on one’s own accord or volition.

“that fat boy with the big nose tumped me over on the playground”  or “don’t make me tump you over”


the infinite degree of yumminess allowable known to man

(for previous entries, see            or