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Dear Diary…

October 2, 2014

Dear Diary:

I did pretty good today.  I didn’t quit the moment I walked into work, contrary to how I’d envisioned it the day before, with me throwing my name lanyard down on the desk and leaving everyone in the lurch trying to find a replacement for me for the day.  Would have served them right, but I didn’t do it, so points for me.

Then, when I got yelled at for talking with a co-worker, I handled myself like a man.  “OK” I said smiling, and didn’t even punch the person who yelled at me, though it is always clear any time of day that the other departments sit around and share Pinterest recipes and chat about weddings and homecomings while I am slaving away fighting off angry drunk men and trying to roust up bicycle thieves.  And to top that off, I didn’t even trip this person as they walked away from me, though I probably could have sidelined them for a while if I had placed a kick to the shin just right.

And when my co-workers and I went out after work, I only had two glasses of water, instead of the seven forties I wanted to get.

So all in all, I did OK for the day.


Dear Diary: .1

Dear Diary:

Today I punched an old guy in the face.  This was after I forced his vehicle off the road.  He looked surprised that I would cold cock him for no reason.  A total stranger.  Apparently he’s not aware of how offensive it is when really, really old people with one foot in the grave drive nice fast sports cars that no one else can afford, and since they don’t have much strength in their bodies they can’t push the gas pedal down very far so are driving a racey sports car 21 MPH.

Punched him.