well it’s another hot scorching day in the States. which is wonderful, because it’s not winter! but if you don’t have AC at your location, here are some recommendations for keeping cool:
1. Go to your local library! Not only should your local library have loads of good stuff to read, listen to and peruse, they should have AC as well! Do what our patrons do and enjoy the cool spell for a while as you play Farmville on the web. Or nod right off in one of the fluffy chairs. It beats passing out on the sidewalk and getting a concussion from heat exhaustion.
2. Go mall walking. Malls are full of AC. And consumerism. And pretzels. So then walk a little more after that.
3. Hit the theater. Summer blockbusters don’t even have to be interesting, because they offer popcorn and AC for a few hours of the day. Who cares what’s playing? But if you can still catch it, the Avengers is worth watching back to back for multiple kick-butt enjoyment and extended AC play.
4. Bug someone in your family. Surely someone you know – family member, friend, ex, or foe – has air conditioning you can siphon off for a while as you return that old lawn mower you forgot you had, or the old jean jacket that went out of style twelve years ago. Or maybe you just want to patch things up with someone you’ve had a feud with, because that will be sure to take about three or four good hours of crying and cooling down.
5. Go to Red Robin. Not only do they have the best most delicious burgers EVER, they are coooool. Not sure what the maximum stay period is, but you can stretch it out by ordering desert, refills, and asking for a coloring book.
6. If all else fails, lie in the tub! Pour a tub full of cool water, sprinkle in some mint leaves if you want refreshing scents, and hop in with a good (disposable) fiction read. Be sure you bring in something you don’t mind tossing out, just in case you drop it in the water. Magazines are great for this, and comic books if you aren’t an avid collector and worried about the mint condition. You may find yourself slightly pickled after a few hours, but just think of all the telemarketers and mothers-in-law you will avoid by not hearing the phone!
Still, I’m a surly little cur on a fairly regular basis.
Why can’t happy annoying people pick this up and leave you alone when you are like this?
I’m not good with small talk. I like good conversations, about real stuff. I don’t want to hear about how you cooked your dinner last night or how many times your daughter spit up on you. Well, it’s not that I DON’T want to hear these things. I don’t actually mind what the topic of conversation is, but I hate little chit chat in the office. Let me do my fucking work. I mean, I don’t mind talking here and there, but non-stop girly chatter makes me crazy.
Now, if you were talking about comic books, or Spike TV, or action figures, maybe I wouldn’t mind as much. But no, there are just days when I don’t feel like being grossly social like most gabby chatty women are supposed to be. Why can’t women understand that I am not like them?
Ok, and even if they can’t figure out that I am not like them, because they didn’t happen to notice that I wear cat ears I bought at Hot Topic, or they didn’t notice that I dress like a tomboy half the time, or they didn’t notice that I never go to any of the social activities they arrange where everyone’s family can meet everyone else’s family, can’t they at least tell from my face that I am not sociable on certain days?
I’m fairly certain that my cross, grumpy, sour face today should have made it plain to anyone with eyeballs that you don’t want to talk to me today. What is the deal?
I think I’m going to have to create my own beauty pageant banner to wear, that says “Leave Her the Fuck Alone”. Maybe that will get the hint across.
(addendum: some people are ok to approach me. the people i really like. the rest of everybody should note the banner. approach with caution if you are not a lover or bestest friend)