If you were to ask me what food was the best for being intimate I would tell you Chinese Take Out. “You are soooo weird”, I hear you whispering over cyber-miles. Too right. You might be thinking about something sexy and delicious, like strawberries. Strawberries are the “go-to” fruit when you want to have hot, unbridled passionate love making. Everyone knows that. Strawberries with chocolate, strawberries with whipped cream, strawberries with sugar. Sexy, sexy, sexy. And yes, they are delicious. Not so sexy, however, when you are allergic to them. Breaking out in hives? Not sexy. Itchy throat that makes you have to scratch it by making that weird choking/snorting noise? Definitely not sexy. Having your throat close up when you are ‘in the mood’? Wow. That sucks. (ha ha)
Chinese Take Out is definitely my food of choice for intimacy. And I’m not saying that it’s necessarily a good aphrodisiac, or that it should be involved at all in foreplay…as much as I like spring rolls, I’m not thinking they should be eaten off of anyone’s body. The intimacy I mean is more of an emotional response to the food. When I watch TV shows, or movies, any time a group of people are working hard and passionately about something, working closely together in a small knit group, Chinese Take Out is involved. Sure you often see pizza containers, but more often it seems that little boxes of Chinese food litter the table, floor, or counter tops. Chinese Take Out on TV seems to imply connection, intimacy, and being together in the wee hours of the morning. Sure sometimes it just implies hard work, and maybe a need for quick, delicious food. But somehow it has become linked with sensuality in my mind.
Maybe it’s because of an ancient conversation I had with someone, who said he knew a couple whose habit it was to stay in on Sundays, and enjoy an entire day of love making, getting out of bed only to order Chinese Take Out. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen couples in the movies or shows I watch order each other’s favorite Chinese meal, bicker about who gets the noodles or egg rolls, and wave those chopsticks around like little wooden phallus’. Maybe I just have a thing for Chinese food so it makes me happy. Maybe it’s the cute little boxes that fold up like little pieces of origami full of tasty treats. I don’t know, but I’m in love with the image of eating out of the boxes. I suppose that seduces me right there, and is a bit sensual as well. Not to mention the not always exciting fortunes that are intimately tucked into a cookie shell that could possibly resemble the female body, if one allowed one’s mind to consider such things. Secret treats inside a secret hiding place. And how intimate is that right there! Surprising me with an unknown secret thought that only I can see when I burst open the cookie. Mmmm…Chinese Take Out is good all around.
So if there’s anyone out there looking to seduce me, better get some chopsticks ready and show up at my door with lots of little folded boxes. You’ll be in for the tastiest night of your life.