I don’t know if anyone else has made this discovery, or if it’s just me. But:
mosquitoes are assholes.
I totally get that there is a circle of life, and that we are all sustained by one another. I also understand that vampires and insects are apt to want to nibble on me, because my blood is so sugary sweet and apparently I taste like cinnamon or honey. Who could resist that?
But seriously, do you have to go up into the highest part of my thigh, next to the Holy Land to get a bite to eat? I’ve got perfectly good skin in other, less inconvenient places. Now I look like I have crabs because I’m fidgeting all day, trying to rub my legs together to scratch in an awkward area. And thanks also for leaving bites on my ass, because it’s always attractive to be scratching there too. I look like a fucking baseball player.
So yeah, mosquitoes are complete assholes, and if I knew where their private parts were I’d stick ‘em with a pin to see how they liked it.