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rainy morning

not much for writing lately, but pictures say lots of words.  somewhere around a thousand, i understand.  so here’s a couple thousand unspoken words…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sleepy autumn

Fall is my favorite time of year, but it always makes me feel like this:

a falling of yellow stars…

mmm…coffee.

i don’t drink it every day.  i wonder why?  it’s so delicious smelling, and warming, and makes me feel so much like a writer, and today was the most coffee-drinking day i could have, so here i am, cup in hand.

fall has always been my favorite season; i love the colors on the trees.  colors i don’t always know the names for.  colors that capture my attention and whisk me away into a surrealistic painting trapped somewhere in my imagination.  i love the smell of fire places and burning leaves, the smell of snuggling.  i’ve always loved the coolness of the weather, and the advent of sweater wearing – though sweaters decidedly lose their novelty after several months of harsh winter.  still, with football and crunchy leaves, Halloween and cider, fall brings a bucket of joy with it.

today’s walk through the park led me to a new tree-friend.  a twinkling yellow tree, whose leaves were so happy and energetic, i had to go say hi.  millions (or lots) of little yellow leaves waved at me as i came closer, and i saw that there was a sign under the tree, declaring it to be a Gingko Biloba tree.  i had no idea my local park had a Gingko Biloba!  i gathered up a pocket full of the little flyers from the ground and thought my day to be quite magical thus far.

pockets full of treasure i journeyed on, past my little Poncho tree who is all decked out in yellow, past the squirrels digging out or putting in a stash of nuts, past the stone lions and their diligent perseverance,  and past the ghost girl who sits in her attic room practicing the flute.  my other park had a blanket of leaves waiting for me, and as it began to rain steadily, i visited the river to say good morning, and finally lay on my back under a tree.  i know i’m crazy, so don’t bother reminding me.  it’s not usually something that is far from my mind.  i know that if anyone was actually out on a day like today (the weather channel calling for severe thunderstorms) they would have wondered what the *#&! was wrong with me.  but i couldn’t resist.  i was tempted to make a leaf angel, but the whole park was so gloriously decorated i couldn’t bare to disturb the scene.  so buried under leaves was the park, i couldn’t tell where the grass met the path, and just plundered over everything until i collapsed at last, like i said, on my back.

and there i lay, looking up at the sky as the rain beat down on me and chinked off the trees, pavement and wrought iron fence.  and the leaves came tumbling down around me.  this fall, since the trees have been shedding, i’ve been telling myself that i have wonderful great fortune every time i see a leaf fall.  sometimes my great fortune is so great, i can’t keep up, and just stand in a shower of wonder.  so as i lay under a sky of wet kisses, i called off my wonderful fortune as the stars fell on me, and listened to the murder of crows gathering in a nearby tree.  and the love of the universe just fell all around me, and the peace of life just embraced me in its arms.  and i walked home finally, soaked to the skin, deliriously drenched, and supremely content.  i peeled off my wet layers of clothes, slipped my turquoise satin robe over my bare skin and set about making my cup of coffee.  for wondrous things happen when you combine coffee with a fall day…

downloading…

Today is a downloading day for me. I have these moments, and sometimes days, pretty regularly. It’s not that I’m depressed, because I’m not really. How can I be depressed on a gorgeous day like today? The trees are phenomenally gorgeous, sprinkling my walk with more color than my eyes can consume. Green trees, yellow trees, trees that want to be orange, red, green, burgundy and ochre all at the same time. Some clumps are all bold and brilliant, and other patches of trees are soft, silvery, mauve. The brilliant blue sky sports whispy clouds that float through the air with no apparent agenda or time frame. It’s a gorgeous, warm, relaxed October day, and I am downloading. I often have direction, goals or intentions. I wake up thinking about a project I need to work on, a task I need to complete, chores I have been putting off or a hobby I want to get back to. I have to work out, I have to make a grocery list, I need to repair a broken earring or watch a movie rental before it’s due back. I might have social obligations or volunteer duties to attend to. And usually, my brain is full of ideas, thoughts, aspirations, longings, chatter, songs and intense curiosity about everything around me. On downloading days I have none of this. I’m neither tired nor energetic. I’m neither depressed nor excited. I have no specific desires or ambitions, and often find myself indecisive, not sure which direction to go. I call these downloading days because it’s like my brain has had enough frenetic activity lately and needs an hour (or twenty) to just buzz. The stuff in my brain is just rattling around and looking for somewhere to land. It’s like I’m downloading something on my computer, and I just have to wait. I can’t do anything else because whatever is downloading just isn’t done yet, so I sit and watch football, or go for a long walk, or talk emotionlessly to someone about nothing of interest. It’s just a day. A beautiful, gorgeous, perfect day; but a day I might enjoy better had my brain been fully engaged.

accidental happiness; stardate 09.30.2010

today my morning walk was magical. i don’t know if i have mentioned here how very much i love the rain, but i do. i will probably write a full blog just on that, but for today my concentration is on the continually refreshing experience that is my (almost) daily walk. on the way to my park, i swing through a cul de sac that i love, and there i found a truly unique treasure. i walked past a terminally falling leaf, suspended in air, like the slow moving bullets in the Matrix forever drifting toward the ground. it hung in the air like it was drawn there, by some great graphic novel artist who thought it looked best in mid air. on further examination i saw that it was hanging from a small spider strand, but it looked for all the world like a bit of confetti that never quite got to its destination. then came the park, and the litter on the ground. usually i hate littering, and i don‘t know why the fishers that come to this park can’t figure out how to clean up after themselves. bunch of lazies. but today, the mangled remnants of a red plastic Solo cup looked like rose petals, strewn about under the park bench in a ritualistic display, certainly intended for magical purposes. at this park i also came across a good looking, scruffy faced skateboarder, who would go perfectly with my sister…if only i’d remembered to bring my butterfly net, i could have scooped him up and carried him home with me. and then the fabulous fall of leaves that came tumbling down around me. it was like i was trapped in an autumn snow globe, that i guess would be called a leaf globe. it was beautiful, and charming, and completely whimsical. another happy moment in a curious life…