Category Archives: soul shots

the ever present darkness

i just finished watching HBO’s “Captivated: The Trials of Pamela Smart” and my heart is heavy.


the film premiered in January at the Sundance Film Festival, and makes an amazingly poignant statement about our lives today; what the hell is the media doing to our brains?

OK that probably isn’t actually THEIR statement…but as you watch the documentary, it is amazingly clear that TRUTH is not really easily definable or discovered once the media decides the verdict of things ahead of time.

i found this documentary fascinating, and disheartening at the same time.  i saw a documentary not long ago about the woman who spilled coffee on her lap at a drive through McDonald’s and sued for damages.  i actually remember that situation, and how frustrated everyone was about the situation ~ what world are we living in when people can’t own up to their own mistakes?  but the reality was quite different than people made it out to be.  and once celebrities and comedians got their routine into the coffee bit, all of America had made a decision on what happened with the coffee and the lap; including me.  “Own up to your own mistakes, people” i might have shouted.  “we shouldn’t be a sue-happy culture!”

we shouldn’t be a lot of things that we are.  one thing i’m pretty certain that we as people will never really get to is smart.  we are too quick to judge when there is no information available to judge with.  we are gullible and hopeful and biased.  we have long records of wrongs done to us, and not a long enough list of goods we have done for others.

i feel flustered today; because it doesn’t really seem like anything ever changes.  there is just a big bunch of good, bad and ugly.  so what is my two cents worth in the long run?  and what kind of stupid question is that anyway, ’cause nobody even uses cents anymore! cents are so worthless you can’t even find the symbol on a modern day computer or device!

* sigh *

so, there’s nothing left for me to do, but just keep on fighting.  it doesn’t really feel like it is doing anything.  but i can’t just roll over and give up.  i may not be able to conquer the darkness of stupidity, ignorance, and cruelty; but i can at least try to spread the healing blanket of acceptance, love, and kindness.

beyond that much, i will just have to have a decent margarita or a really big scoop of ice cream.



soul shots.1

i don’t know what it says about me, but this is one of my favorite pictures, and one that i feel represents “me” most of the time.  moody.  atmospheric.  out of focus.  slightly askew.  hmmm…well, i guess i DO know what it says about me