Category Archives: Dear Diary:
October 2, 2014
I did pretty good today. I didn’t quit the moment I walked into work, contrary to how I’d envisioned it the day before, with me throwing my name lanyard down on the desk and leaving everyone in the lurch trying to find a replacement for me for the day. Would have served them right, but I didn’t do it, so points for me.
Then, when I got yelled at for talking with a co-worker, I handled myself like a man. “OK” I said smiling, and didn’t even punch the person who yelled at me, though it is always clear any time of day that the other departments sit around and share Pinterest recipes and chat about weddings and homecomings while I am slaving away fighting off angry drunk men and trying to roust up bicycle thieves. And to top that off, I didn’t even trip this person as they walked away from me, though I probably could have sidelined them for a while if I had placed a kick to the shin just right.
And when my co-workers and I went out after work, I only had two glasses of water, instead of the seven forties I wanted to get.
So all in all, I did OK for the day.
today i’m feeling worthless.
i’m feeling a fool.
i fall in love for no reason, with people that can’t be loved by me. i hope for impossible things and believe in a mish.mash of curios. i spend my time on things that i wish really mattered and impacted people, but in reality probably just comfort my anxious soul that feels like it’s wasted its life on stupid things like paying bills, fixing vehicles and dealing with crazy people at work.
i’m feeling broken, and tired, and as though i have finally recognized that i’m only a speck in an ocean of life, so now i have to ask myself if what i do or think or feel really even matters.
but really, when it come right down to it, i just need another cup of coffee.
so i guess i want to share something that i’ve been going through. and maybe there are people out there who won’t understand what i’m saying, or haven’t been through what i’m going through. but i just feel like i really need to talk about this…
see, i still have my heater on. now you people in Florida and Hawaii and probably Tahiti, you don’t understand this situation, but i’ll try to explain it at its base. IT’S STILL FRAKIN’ COLD IN MICHIGAN!!! what the hoop? it’s SPRING!!! it’s APRIL!!! there are supposed to be rain showers making a nice batch of flowers ready for show, and i have to put on my gloves when i drive home from work!!!!
bleh. i wonder if Michigan has a higher percentage of alcoholics than the rest of the US? cause whiskey does wonders for warming you up, but guess what? SO WOULD THE SUN!
so i was going to put up a blog about how irritating it is to have awesomely great ideas when you are in the shower and can’t write these ideas down. and i wrote a little blog, knowing full well that i’d done a similar blog to this a while back.
“well,” i said to myself, “i’ll just link to that previous blog, in case anyone wants to read the originaller version”. (did you like that word?)
but then, after reading the FIRST blog, i’m like, “huh. that one is waaay better than this one today”.
so then, CRAP – outwitted and outwritten by my own former self! damn, i hate showing myself up with myself!
said link to silly post https://accidentalhappiness.wordpress.com/2010/05/07/dictaphonehead/
Today I punched an old guy in the face. This was after I forced his vehicle off the road. He looked surprised that I would cold cock him for no reason. A total stranger. Apparently he’s not aware of how offensive it is when really, really old people with one foot in the grave drive nice fast sports cars that no one else can afford, and since they don’t have much strength in their bodies they can’t push the gas pedal down very far so are driving a racey sports car 21 MPH.