slap your ego into submission(s)

tonight my soul has been pricked.
for years i have avoided the whole “writing business” business.  i’ve written loads of poetry, several kid’s books, and started a great many other works that i have not yet finished.  but the process of trying to pitch myself is somewhat overwhelming, and i give up before i begin.
i think it’s the daunting pressure of greatness hovering over my ego that does me in.  i worry that i won’t be taken seriously.  that my work will not be good enough.  i worry that i am not great.
not everyone is going to be great.  i know that is not the whole of the writing world.  but i feel i have a story for someone, somewhere, that will move them to tears, or quicken them to action, or spur them into a new way of being.  i feel i have something magical for someone, some magic boost of energy or hidden weapon they need, and i worry that i will fail to shine the light in the right direction.  my world – inside my mind – is full of mystery, magic, shimmering life, and impossible realities, and i worry that there is no way i can possibly translate what my experience is to another through a measly work of fiction.  words fail me, and i cannot always paint the picture i wish to share.

but then i remember.  not everyone is great.  not every writer is brilliant.  but the STORY may still be brilliant.  with all my short comings, insecurities and procrastinating tendencies, i am just a tool the story uses to make itself known to the world.  and so i tell myself:

less ego…more writing.

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About denelle

writer. artist. ponderer.

Posted on December 12, 2012, in biographical, mess of life, thoughts and reflections and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Danelle. I don’t need to tell you that the “business of writing” is broken. Well, it’s broken the way big publishers had it tweaked to perfection in the last handful of decades, so now they are dinosaurs stuck in a world where their skills no longer matter. I am guessing that you are not yet a conventional published author, therefore conventional publishers won’t give you the time of day.
    Who cares!
    Keep on writing, the more you write the better you get at it, keep at it to be more and more creative and original, keep on blogging and on sharing of yourself. I am not going to promise you a publishing contract, I am promising you that by continuing living your dream of writing, you will be living your dream.
    No permission required by no gatekeepers.

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