ok, so i feel like barfing my brains and guts out right now.

and yes, technically i AM sick, but that’s not the reason for my hysterical nervous system.

i’ve just emailed an agent, and i may have totally bombed the whole situation.  i’ve been wanting to approach this agent for, i don’t know, i think a year.  but i’ve been sitting on my ass about it, because my ass is so cute i didn’t know what else to do.  and also because i just, i don’t know, i have the normal fear of rejection that often comes with my personality type, which is writer/poet/overly dramatic/worryaholic.

so the smart thing i did was to fire off a stupid email to him.  in which  i failed to present anything of value, used a casual and inappropriate greeting and informal language, and also did stupid things like say i hope i’ve enticed him with my wit, or something equally moronic.

the good news is that he actually wrote me back!   the other good news is that having sent such a lame query, i could quickly let go of the nervousness of being rejected, since it would be almost unimaginable for someone to take me seriously with that email.

but then i responded BACK to him, and actually sent him a few things so he could get an idea of me, and maybe what i want to create.

and now i want to throw up.

i really want to work with THIS agent.  i don’t know why, i just have a feeling.  so if i screwed it up with my idiotic approach, i’m going to be … well really fucking mad at myself.  and thus, my intense desire to puke up my everything….


About denelle

writer. artist. ponderer.

Posted on December 7, 2012, in mess of life and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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