ok, so i feel like barfing my brains and guts out right now.
and yes, technically i AM sick, but that’s not the reason for my hysterical nervous system.
i’ve just emailed an agent, and i may have totally bombed the whole situation. i’ve been wanting to approach this agent for, i don’t know, i think a year. but i’ve been sitting on my ass about it, because my ass is so cute i didn’t know what else to do. and also because i just, i don’t know, i have the normal fear of rejection that often comes with my personality type, which is writer/poet/overly dramatic/worryaholic.
so the smart thing i did was to fire off a stupid email to him. in which i failed to present anything of value, used a casual and inappropriate greeting and informal language, and also did stupid things like say i hope i’ve enticed him with my wit, or something equally moronic.
the good news is that he actually wrote me back! the other good news is that having sent such a lame query, i could quickly let go of the nervousness of being rejected, since it would be almost unimaginable for someone to take me seriously with that email.
but then i responded BACK to him, and actually sent him a few things so he could get an idea of me, and maybe what i want to create.
and now i want to throw up.
i really want to work with THIS agent. i don’t know why, i just have a feeling. so if i screwed it up with my idiotic approach, i’m going to be … well really fucking mad at myself. and thus, my intense desire to puke up my everything….