I haven’t had much to say lately.
It’s not that I haven’t had the creativity, because it seems my creative engine is almost always at a constant purr. It may be the time factor. Once I finish off a work shift, I am often too tired to do anything productive, and so if I have days and days in a row (which happens often) I just don’t get around to doing much of anything except watching TV. But even outside of the time factor, I’ve been having a hard time describing.
Lately my communication has been garbled. I can’t seem to find the words to express what I want to say. And beyond that, I can’t seem to remember things as well, or grab up the information from my brain that I need to use for various situations.
And beyond that as well, I seem to be a floater. It feels like I’m in a vague, non-descript personality. Maybe one that knows the right things to say, knows the people they should interact with, but doesn’t really own any feelings of her own. There are just no emotions in there. Well, I enjoy things, like my morning walks, a good meal, shows that I love, a meaningful chat with someone; but this person that is driving right now feels very far away; trapped, maybe, like shut up in a glass tower.
So maybe that’s why I haven’t been writing much on here; I’m trapped in a tower and can’t get to my laptop?
Posted on June 15, 2011, in mess of life, thoughts and reflections and tagged communication, energy, floating, memory, MPD, Multiple Personality Disorder, tired, trapped. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.