sex burgers…yummm

Dear vegetarians:

this particular blog is about MEAT and meat by-products, namely …  meat.  please refrain from reading this blog if hearing about meat or people consuming meat will cause you to lose points in your karma game, develop a rash, or spontaneously combust.

 

all others, proceed with caution.

last weekend i had a rather unique experience that, of course, i have to share.  because i’m so generous.  which my sister sometimes calls ‘chatty’, and my mother sometimes calls ‘annoying’.  i use generous, or occasionally ebullient. 

anyway, last weekend my sister – bodhi – celebrated another birthday of youthfulness.  we went antiquing for hours, and after finding no hidden treasures (except some old keys i wanted but didn’t purchase) we had worked up a pretty fierce appetite.  where to go on a special birthday weekend?

we headed to a restaurant we’ve never been to before; Red Robin.  (yummm)  (this is how the commercial goes, you know.  they say “Red Robin” and then follow it by a “yummm”)

who knew this place was so amazingly fabulous?  as soon as we came in we were seated…like, immediately!!!  and our hostess was so cute and friendly, and very sweet, we were sort of taken aback.  she was carrying a balloon for some reason, and i asked if bodhi could have one, for her birthday.  maybe it was the big pleading puppy eyes i gave her that did it.  maybe it was her sweet nature.  maybe it was the fact that bodhi was wearing a shirt that had a small stuffed Elmo in the pocket, and i was wearing butterfly wings on my head.  i don’t know, but soon the hostess came back with not one but TWO balloons for us.    Red Robin…Funnn

then came our waitress, who looked us over and said promptly “i love you”.  i don’t know if she’d had a hard day, or if she was just an emotional kind of person, but apparently our silliness factor – being high for a normal person, but very normal for silly people like us – had gotten to her, and we put a little bright spot in her day.  

she then brought us drinks and bottomless fries!   hello, did you hear me?  BOTTOMLESS FRIES!  who knew food could be so sexy?  or so scandalous?  i wonder if right wing Christians are offended by this brazen nod to partial nudity in the tuber community.  bothersome.  but tasty.  Red Robin…mmm

so then came our meals: for bodhi, the banzai burger (which she loved) and for me, the peppercorn burger.  let me just say this about the peppercorn burger:

it tasted like sex.

ok, i don’t know why.  i’ve never said that about anything food.  but i think at least three times during the meal i told bodhi it tasted like sex.  something about the grill flavor reminded me of summer time with men and their barbecues.  or maybe the steak sauce reminded me of saucy meat.  or maybe the little onion rings had garlic in them, which is an aphrodisiac.  i don’t know, but eating this burger was probably the most sensual dining experience i’ve ever had.  except maybe that time in Pittsburgh. 

add to that the adorable atmosphere, the upbeat and lively staff (who were ALL nice and fun, to the last person), and the fun food wrappers and containers!  crinkly paper on the burgers.  quirky drink cups. happy, motivational liners in the baskets.  no i’m not kidding.  listen to this:

GET FRESH! (see, very sexy)

LIVE IT UP

HAVE FUN

WILD COD (piece)

CHEW ON THIS

BOTTOMLESS IS WHERE THE YUMMM IS

SEEK THE BOTTOM

MUNCH

see?  even their french fry basket liners are hot!  this place can really work a girl up!  not to mention the men!!  so really, it wasn’t just the burger.  but god, oh god, oh, oh, oh god that burger tasted like sex.  thanks Red Robin, for getting me off…to the right meal.

Red Robin (makesyouwannahaveacigaretteyummm)

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About denelle

writer. artist. ponderer.

Posted on April 1, 2011, in random and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. OMG!!! I wuz gonna get pizza for lunch but now am seriously jonzing for a Red Robin burger!!!

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