mpd for dinner

having multiple personality disorder goes something like this:

let’s say you are a female, and you have twelve kids to feed at dinner time.

  1. one of the kids has stomach issues and can’t have anything too spicy
  2. one is allergic to everything
  3. one hates spaghetti because it made her throw up once
  4. one only ever wants to eat cereal
  5. one is afraid of eating anything that has gone past the expiration date printed on its container, and this means that she questions everything that comes out of the refrigerator trying to determine if you have checked the date or not, so she does not die of food poisoning
  6. one is on a hunger strike
  7. one doesn’t like the way you make the macaroni
  8. one is already in the kitchen working on dinner, because she thought you’d need a head start because you had a long day at work, so she’s already got things going, although she did manage to break a dish while she was at it
  9. one is planning on running away and having pizza for dinner anyway
  10. 10.  one is skipping straight to the ice cream course
  11. 11.  one can’t remember where the kitchen is and is afraid that everyone will eat without her and she will starve to death because she was forgotten
  12. 12.  one thinks this whole thing is a big drama and is just going to bed
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About denelle

writer. artist. ponderer.

Posted on February 9, 2011, in MPD and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. It gets better, I promise. With a lot of work and compromise between all the kids and the “host.”

    Sam

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