accidental happiness; stardate 7.20.2010

 

I’ve had a curious bit of synchronicity this last week.

Over the last six months I’ve been taking steps to become more open and vulnerable with people. Many things have made me close myself off from people, and I’ve shared a number of them here, and probably more issues and incidents will be shared in the future. But regardless of WHY I’ve closed myself off from people, I decided several months ago that I needed to open up again. Since then I have been looking at relationships – mine, and others around me – and trying to re-teach my brain about love, people, and the state of genuine interaction.

I’m reading a book called “Click”, and it’s a brilliant, lovely, fascinating piece of work. It’s written beautifully, and it’s the most interesting thing I’ve read in years. I’m actually listening to it on tape, which is even better, because the narrator/reader is tremendous. His warm and intimate style of reading makes the information come to life like a fictitious story full of all your favorite characters. As he pours out data and statistics and scientific experiments, I find I’m riveted and interested in everything he says. Stranger still, I’M RETAINING THE INFORMATION. Books on tape have never really been my thing. I’m not the best auditory learner. I like to see information with my eyeballs, and read the sentence out it inside my head. I don’t know if it’s a part of my mind that gets distracted, and maybe that’s why books on tape don’t always work for me? Or if it’s because my parents never read to me as a kid, except for that horrible book of Bible stories. I don’t know, but when I listen to books on tape, I have to rewind a lot, because I want to be sure I get all the sentences right, or because I’ve somehow missed a few bits of conversation that were important.

With this book, I’m retaining it all on the first go ‘round. Which is surprising, because it’s non fiction, and I’m frequently sketchy when trying to repeat solid facts I’ve heard. The book is about instant or rapid bonding, what they call “clicking”, and how it happens to people and why. The authors talk about things you can do to encourage this kind of bonding in situations and relationships, and offer examples and personal stories from the lives of many different people. I came home last night to tell my sister about it, and I must have rattled off six of the different experiments listed in the book, along with theories of the authors and anecdotal bits and pieces from random parts of the book. I surprised myself by remembering in detail story after story, experiment after experiment. I can’t think of another book I’ve ever read that has imprinted itself so powerfully on my brain so quickly. It’s like it branded itself on my gray matter, and I’m now walking around replaying the tape inside my head, over and over again.

I had a chance to see this book come to life this weekend, in my own experiences. It’s now several days since I told my sister about Click, and I’ve had two ‘chance’ encounters with people that were more about clicking than chance. Ran into a friend from work at a social event, when we both meant to be there at different times than when we arrived. The random conversation we had led straight into the Click talk, and I am excited for him to read the book, because I believe it will truly help him in a lot of artistic ventures he undergoes.

The other situation was even more interesting. Today while outside working on my biography, a handsome stranger walked by and we said hello. One thing led to another, and after he ran some errand, he came back to talk with me more. Really he was wanting to get my phone number, and find out if I was up for going out. He also flattered me by believing that I was a good fifteen years younger than I am. Thank you! But the real interest in the whole situation was the conversation we had. He was genuinely open and candid with me about a number of things that many men might be guarded about. He was casual and yet personal, and made it a point to let me know he was interested in me, but also let me know that he was also looking to make an intellectual connection. This isn’t going to be a romance, and I told him as much, because my intentions are elsewhere. But I was happy to experience this genuine meeting of the minds with someone out of the blue, and it was a spontaneous, refreshing conversation. And maybe meant to happen, because he said he almost walked a different route to where he was headed, and would then have missed me completely. We both agreed in fate playing a hand in the meeting today, and I can’t help but wonder what the encounter might teach me, or him, or both of us.

I’m trying very much to have better and more intimate relationships in my life. I’m trying to open up, and follow the path of love, and come down out of my hidey hole tower of protection. I’m trying to see people around me as just people, with souls that need purpose and hearts that long for love. I’m trying to open up to the world around me, and the strange fellows in it, instead of assuming that the mass of human fleshpots that walk the streets have nothing to do with me. The first thing they talk about in the book, the first tenet of these “clicking” relationships is vulnerability, and this has never fit me very well. But I’m trying that one on too.

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About denelle

writer. artist. ponderer.

Posted on July 20, 2010, in Accidental Happiness, thoughts and reflections and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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