sparkly Twilight blog
i can’t figure it out. i had a hard time stomaching the books. every two pages i had to get another glass of water to wash down the vomit/spittle that kept creeping up into my throat because of Edward’s drastic beauty. oh my god he’s so shiny. he sparkles like a trajillion diamonds. his skin is alabaster glory. his breath is like the morning dew. or i don’t know, Mountain Dew. Christ on a bloody cross, i get it! you’re hot for him.
but seriously, amidst vampires (which i’ve always loved) and death threats (of which i’ve had a few myself) and teenage life in school, you’d think there would be some excitement, and action, and … life. and ok, there is some excitement; things happen. but god, as soon as the action starts, we have to reaffirm how lovely and shiny and sparkly this Edward character is.
i mean, hello? does he have any other redeeming qualities besides his blinding disco ball skin?
so i thought i hated the books (though, go figure, i read them all. hypocrite.) i was mad to death over the whole flavor of his breath and his limp inability to do anything but shimmer and breathe frosted flake smelling candy breath on people.
and lo and behold, i come to the realization that, oh yeah. she’s in love.
because – damn it all – it’s kind of like this. love makes all the circuitry in my body go annoyingly “Twilight”. he smells wonderfully amazing, and i want to have my face in his skin all day long. he DOES seem to shimmer, and being next to him, just standing and talking to him, it feels like there is an electrical charge. vibrational movement. exploding neurons. static electricity. i don’t know, shock. it feels like the matrix, where Neo suddenly sees everything through the computer/matrix world, and all objects take on a new appearance. he can suddenly see in this magical, coded vision. and damn, that’s so the way it is. every thing i look at looks different. more sparkly. 3-D instead of flat and colorless. shiny and new, instead of jaded and reminiscent of past horrors and embarrassments. charged with red sparks of desire, or passion, or flaming dandruff shed from dragons. i don’t know…it just IS like in the damn book! being around someone you feel like THIS about; there are sparkles and glisteny-ness and magical faeries that whisper in my ear that he must taste like lemon drops or Hot Tamales, or maybe of all things, Coca-Cola. God that would beat all!
so yeah, still not impressed with the books. still not sure what all the hubub is about. but the sparkling diamond skin? i guess that only sounds preposterously fictional if you aren’t in love.
Posted on May 3, 2010, in thoughts and reflections and tagged circuitry, Coca Cola, death threats, high school, Hot Tamales, magical faeries, Mountain Dew, sparkles, static electricity, the Matrix, Twilight, vampires. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.